confessions of a retail saleswoman

Many of you know about my shopping fast that I began for the entire year of 2013 (read about it here).  The beginning of my problem with shopping really began when I started working at my local Gap store last summer and realized I got 50% off of almost everything in the store. I went crazy, and most of my paychecks usually went right back to my store.

Well, this summer I decided that I would go back and work again at the Gap, since I was guaranteed to be hired again.  Going back would be easy because I wouldn't have to job search and relearn a new position somewhere else.  Some of my friends warned me that it would be too hard to maintain my fast while working in retail and I should try to find a new job, but I told them it was going to be easy.

Easy. HA! I sure ate those words.

Going to work for the first time was my first real time in a clothing store since December. Being in a retail store (not to mention one of my favorite stores) for around five hours a day is incredibly hard.  The temptation to buy clothing is everywhere, and being there for so long has made me feel like I need clothes.  At first, all I thought about was how I needed new shorts, the tank tops I own had shrunk, and I could get whatever I wanted for a much cheaper price.  I literally prayed my way through my first day because I wanted to buy new clothes so bad.  Some days as I've helped people find clothing, I would pick out my favorite items for them just so I can vicariously shop through them.  Every single time I've worked, I walked out of the doors, breathed a huge sigh of relief, and thanked God for helping me make it through that day.  I'm so thankful that most of the days I've worked this past week I've been put in the Kids and Baby department, so there is a little less temptation to buy those clothes. :)

This definitely was not the easy choice this summer.  But I'm realizing that the more I work, the more I get used to being around the clothes, and the less I want to buy them.  My perspective is shifting, and instead of thinking about how cheap I could get shirts or jeans, I'm thinking about all of the money I'm going to be able to save by not spending it on clothing.  I'm also realizing how lucky and blessed I am to own so much already.

The difference is that last year, I went into this job selfishly last year, only thinking about getting the best clothing for a low price.  This year, I went into this job without that expectation, and instead, I go into work praying for my coworkers and for the people I'm going to serve as I work.  I pray for a joyful attitude, even though its hard being there.  I'm praying for God to help me control my spending, and sometimes that He would make my taste in clothing change ;)

And what do ya know - I'm actually enjoying my job a LOT more than I did last summer! Even without the benefit of cheaper clothing, I know that I'm going to get more out of this job than before.  This definitely isn't easy, but I know its the best thing for me right now.