Back in America

Hello readers! Just wanted to post something quick to let you know that I am back in America, safe and sound! I didn't get any form of sickness while I was gone, but I'm still getting over jet lag. 

Thank you SO much for all of your prayers.  I had no idea about all of the ways that I would learn, grow, and change while I was in Rwanda. Let me tell you, I am fired up and passionate about the way God is moving in Rwanda, and the things we need to do and have to do to continue His work. If you try to ask me how my trip went, you'll need to carve out about 5 hours for me to just scratch the surface.  My time in Africa has changed my life.

Over the next few months I'm sure I'll be sharing stories and experiences, but for now, I am taking time to process what has just happened over the past week.  Just a couple of the things I'm learning and still trying to process...

Forgiveness.

Family.

Joy.

Reconciliation.

Contentment.

Serving.

Giving.

Love.

Tragedy.

Peace.

Reliance.

Surrender.

Simplicity.

Hope.

I'm honestly still trying to process everything that I saw and experienced in Rwanda.  This is something that will move me for the rest of my life.  I am not the same person that I was before.

THIS TIME FOR AFRICA!

ITS HERE!

As you are reading this post, I am on a plane to RWANDA! I'll be back on the 17th, but until I return to the US, please be praying for me!

Here's how you can pray specifically:

1. Safety.  We spend about 4 of our 10 day trip traveling through driving and flying.  Pray for safety in flying, traveling in general, and protection of my entire team and our luggage.  Pray against flight delays and missed layovers.  We are leaving in the tail end of a winter storm, so pray for safety as we have a long drive to the airport, and a couple of long flights to Africa!

2. My team.  There are about 20 of us going together (17 of them are girls!!).  With that being said, pray against frustrations with team members, for grace and love to be shown in the midst of clashing personalities, and for total unity in the Lord.  Pray against cliques and pray that we would be willing and able to work together for the glory of God.

3. Health.  Praying that no one catches anything on the plane ride over.  Pray that our malaria pills won't cause any sickness (a bunch of us have already gotten nauseous from taking them).  Pray against any other disease or infection that could be caught while we are there.  Pray that we can all easily adjust with jet lag to the new time zone we will be in! Pray that we would not get sunburnt or dehydrated in the heat!

4. The people we will encounter. Pray for soft hearts to allow us into their lives, and for honesty and openness in sharing their stories.  Pray that they would welcome us and would see Christ shining through us.  Most of all, pray for healing, restoration, and reconciliation in their hearts against the people who have wronged them.  Pray that the widows would trust in God, and that the orphans would feel genuinely loved by Christ.  Let them understand the love that the Lord has for them, and be comforted and healed by Him, and not by our presence. Pray that we would listen to their stories with patience, understanding, and empathy.  May Jesus work through the people I am going to meet to minister to me. 

5. Strength in serving.   Pray that we will have the endurance to love on others even through feeling tired.  Pray that we would be willing to be Christ's hands and feet - loving the harder ones to love and serving the ones on the outskirts.  Pray that our time in Rwanda would be effective for the gospel.  Let us leave the legacy in Rwanda that we were loving and kind to everybody because of the Lord we received from God.  Pray that we would die to self and to our own comforts in order to be used by God. Pray that I would have an open heart, and a humble heart.  Pray for humility, ears to listen, eyes to see, and the heart to love.

6. Growth in the Lord.  Pray that me and my team would see God working not only in the lives of the Rwandan people, but also in our own hearts as well.  Let this trip be the stepping stone to how God wants us involved in missions, and let us bring home what we see and experience.  Let it be a trip that changes us for the rest of our lives. Let my heart be moved.

Listen to this song, and think of me :)

preparation

Some people have been asking me how I'm doing in preparing for this trip.
But how do you prepare for a trip that you've been looking forward to for over a year?!

How do you prepare your mind to see things you've never seen before, and aren't even sure what you're going to see?

How do you prepare your heart to take in the brokenness of a country destroyed by hatred?

How do you get ready to see hundreds, thousands, millions of grave stones of people who didn't deserve to die?

How do you prepare yourself to enter into a culture that is completely different from the one I've lived in my whole life?

How do you help bring restoration and healing to a country with deeply rooted pain in a matter of a week?

How do you prepare to serve God when you don't know exactly how?

You get as close to Jesus as possible.  He's the only One giving me peace, comfort, and assurance during this time of preparation. 

The only way to get ready for all of this is by spending as much as I can with Him in prayer.  I'm preparing for everything I'm going to experience by spending deep, intimate times of prayer with Him.  I feel closer to Him, and closer to Rwanda than ever. 

The other morning I was up early praying for Rwanda, and my heart was so overwhelmed with love for that country, those widows, and those orphans.  My heart feels as if it is already in Rwanda, and I haven't even gotten there yet.  As I spend time with Him, I feel the Lord filling me up with His love to pour out to the Rwandan people.  He is increasing my desire to serve Him and be used by Him.  

And as I pray and get closer to Jesus, I see how He has been preparing me for Rwanda for much longer than I know.  This was one of my favorite songs when I was a sophomore and junior in high school...who knew that the Lord was planting seeds of Rwanda in me from the start?!

When I asked one of my trip leaders what I could be doing to be preparing spiritually for my trip to Rwanda he told me "practice the presence of God."  I'm opening my eyes to see Him everywhere here, so that when I go over to Africa I'm even more aware of His evidence. I'm growing my habit of communicating continually with God, so that when I'm in Rwanda I pray all the more. 

When you really think about it, you realize that there's no way to really "prepare" for big things in your life.  You can try as hard as you can, but when the rubber hits the road, you just have to dive right into it.

expectations

I've never been on an international missions trip before, and I've never been to Africa before either.  So here are some of things I'm expecting next week:

• Heat and strong sun
• Dirt
• The African trees you always see in beautiful pictures
• Young orphans laughing and loving freely
• Hardened and bitter widows
• Mosquito nets and bugs buzzing in your ears at night
• Safari animals
• Rice and beans
• Dirty water
• Sickness
• Hunger
• Scarcity of food
• More children than adults
• Not many English speaking people
• Deep times of prayer and seeking the Lord
• Being smelly and sweaty
• Not showering much
• Listening to stories
• Real heartache and pain
• Memorials and grave sites
• Marketplace
• True joy in the lives of others
• Small, simple homes
• Hard, small beds
• Electricity?
• Rural setting
• Not many clothes
• Gratitude in the little things

I think its natural for me to have some expectations going into my trip to Rwanda.  But these are simple things aren't significant and I'm not getting hung up on them. They're based on stories I've heard, movies I've watched, and pictures I've seen. Whether these are things I actually see in Africa don't matter that much. 

There is one major thing I'm expectant of that I know will be fulfilled: God is going to do amazing things in Rwanda, and He is going to do even beyond what I expect. 

"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us,  to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen." - Ephesians 3:20-21

prayers i'm praying

May God bless you with a restless discomfort
About easy answers, half-truths, and superficial relationships
So that you may seek truth boldly and love deep within your heart.

May God bless you with anger at injustice, oppression, 

and exploitation of people, so that you may tirelessly work for 

justice, freedom, and peace among all people.

May God bless you with the gift of tears to shed for those who suffer 

from pain, rejection, starvation, or the loss of all they cherish, so that you
may reach out your hand to comfort them and transform their pain into joy.
 

May God bless you with enough foolishness to believe that 

you can make a difference in this world,so that you are able, 

with God's grace, to do what others claim cannot be done.

And the blessing of God the Supreme Majesty and our Creator,

Jesus Christ the Incarnate Word Who us our Brother and Savior,

and the Holy Spirit, our Advocate and Guide, be with you

and remain with you, this day and forevermore. Amen.

- A Franciscan Benediction (From A Hole in the Gospel)

"Spirit, lead me where my trust is without borders,

Let me walk upon the waters,

Wherever you would call me.

Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander,

and my faith would be made stronger

in the presence of my Savior."

- Oceans by Hillsong United

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace,
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
where there is sadness, joy;

O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much 

seek to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.

For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

- Prayer of St. Francis of Assisi

Source: blog.worldhelp.net

"I know that the Lord will maintain the cause of the afflicted, 

and will execute justice for the needy." - Psalm 140:12

"I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you." - John 14:18

Please keep me in your prayers as I leave for Rwanda this Thursday, March 7! I have been praying these prayers, and I'd appreciate if you would continue in praying these for me and my team as well.  

*Pictures are not my own and are taken from Pinterest.com