Lately I have been SO frustrated and confused about why I
continuously commit the same sins over and over. I've prayed the same prayers for forgiveness and confessed
to other believers, and sometimes I think that God has probably been getting
sick of me about it.
But here's the amazing thing - He's not. It's impossible for
me to wrap my mind around, because who wouldn't be frustrated with an
incompetent person, repeating the same mistakes over and over?
God never gets
tired of us. He knows our weaknesses and failures. He created us this way - Psalm 103
proves this and says "As a father shows compassion to his children, so the
Lord shows compassion to those who fear him. For He knows our frame; He remembers that we are dust."
(103:13-14).
There is grace for the ways we fail.
I was reading something by Beth Moore and it totally
comforted me in my frustration over my own sin. She was sharing the way she adores her grandson and pays
attention to his every move. She
knows when he first slept through the night, when he rolled over from his
stomach to his back, and when we smiled for the first time. She cherishes every moment of his
growing process, and relates it to our relationship with God this way:
"I don't sit over Jackson impatiently and wish he were suddenly grown. I celebrate every step he takes. Why do we think our Heavenly Father, who designed our bodies, souls, and spirits to operate just as they do, would be any different? No, God doesn't enjoy any child's stubborn unwillingness to grow up any more than I'd enjoy Jackson still crawling at six years of age. But I'm convinced God thoroughly relishes every hint of maturity even if we feel as if we're not making progress."
I love that analogy to watching a baby grow. You never want to rush the process, and
you don't get frustrated when a baby can't do things adults can do. That's exactly how God views us. He watches over us and enjoys the small
ways we grow, and understands when we stumble. He celebrates every step we take
- even the baby steps.
He doesn't expect our first steps to be perfect. Or our second. Or our third. But in every step we take, God rejoices
for us.
God is with us in our struggles with sin, and when we commit
the same sins again and again, He will never condemn us for them. Romans 8:1 says "There is now no
condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus."
If there's anything that I've learned this year, its that
our relationship with God is a process,
and He understands when we stumble from time to time. He gets it when we can't seem to fully conquer a sin and
have to struggle through it.
But there's another part of this process we need to be aware
of. We always need to be striving
for growth - whether we are failing over again and again or learning and
succeeding quickly. We can't
settle where we are and apathetically expect God to be happy with us. We can't become careless about our
sins, and cheaply accept the grace of God without understanding how much it
cost Him. We need to draw near to
God, pushing forward through the stumbling and failures, so that we're not taking
advantage of that grace.
Our growth and maturity in God is a process. We aren't
going to be perfect, or even come close to that.
There's grace for our repeated sins and constant failures. He doesn't give up on me, and He
understands that I am dust. Praise
God.
