preparation

Some people have been asking me how I'm doing in preparing for this trip.
But how do you prepare for a trip that you've been looking forward to for over a year?!

How do you prepare your mind to see things you've never seen before, and aren't even sure what you're going to see?

How do you prepare your heart to take in the brokenness of a country destroyed by hatred?

How do you get ready to see hundreds, thousands, millions of grave stones of people who didn't deserve to die?

How do you prepare yourself to enter into a culture that is completely different from the one I've lived in my whole life?

How do you help bring restoration and healing to a country with deeply rooted pain in a matter of a week?

How do you prepare to serve God when you don't know exactly how?

You get as close to Jesus as possible.  He's the only One giving me peace, comfort, and assurance during this time of preparation. 

The only way to get ready for all of this is by spending as much as I can with Him in prayer.  I'm preparing for everything I'm going to experience by spending deep, intimate times of prayer with Him.  I feel closer to Him, and closer to Rwanda than ever. 

The other morning I was up early praying for Rwanda, and my heart was so overwhelmed with love for that country, those widows, and those orphans.  My heart feels as if it is already in Rwanda, and I haven't even gotten there yet.  As I spend time with Him, I feel the Lord filling me up with His love to pour out to the Rwandan people.  He is increasing my desire to serve Him and be used by Him.  

And as I pray and get closer to Jesus, I see how He has been preparing me for Rwanda for much longer than I know.  This was one of my favorite songs when I was a sophomore and junior in high school...who knew that the Lord was planting seeds of Rwanda in me from the start?!

When I asked one of my trip leaders what I could be doing to be preparing spiritually for my trip to Rwanda he told me "practice the presence of God."  I'm opening my eyes to see Him everywhere here, so that when I go over to Africa I'm even more aware of His evidence. I'm growing my habit of communicating continually with God, so that when I'm in Rwanda I pray all the more. 

When you really think about it, you realize that there's no way to really "prepare" for big things in your life.  You can try as hard as you can, but when the rubber hits the road, you just have to dive right into it.

expectations

I've never been on an international missions trip before, and I've never been to Africa before either.  So here are some of things I'm expecting next week:

• Heat and strong sun
• Dirt
• The African trees you always see in beautiful pictures
• Young orphans laughing and loving freely
• Hardened and bitter widows
• Mosquito nets and bugs buzzing in your ears at night
• Safari animals
• Rice and beans
• Dirty water
• Sickness
• Hunger
• Scarcity of food
• More children than adults
• Not many English speaking people
• Deep times of prayer and seeking the Lord
• Being smelly and sweaty
• Not showering much
• Listening to stories
• Real heartache and pain
• Memorials and grave sites
• Marketplace
• True joy in the lives of others
• Small, simple homes
• Hard, small beds
• Electricity?
• Rural setting
• Not many clothes
• Gratitude in the little things

I think its natural for me to have some expectations going into my trip to Rwanda.  But these are simple things aren't significant and I'm not getting hung up on them. They're based on stories I've heard, movies I've watched, and pictures I've seen. Whether these are things I actually see in Africa don't matter that much. 

There is one major thing I'm expectant of that I know will be fulfilled: God is going to do amazing things in Rwanda, and He is going to do even beyond what I expect. 

"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us,  to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen." - Ephesians 3:20-21

prayers i'm praying

May God bless you with a restless discomfort
About easy answers, half-truths, and superficial relationships
So that you may seek truth boldly and love deep within your heart.

May God bless you with anger at injustice, oppression, 

and exploitation of people, so that you may tirelessly work for 

justice, freedom, and peace among all people.

May God bless you with the gift of tears to shed for those who suffer 

from pain, rejection, starvation, or the loss of all they cherish, so that you
may reach out your hand to comfort them and transform their pain into joy.
 

May God bless you with enough foolishness to believe that 

you can make a difference in this world,so that you are able, 

with God's grace, to do what others claim cannot be done.

And the blessing of God the Supreme Majesty and our Creator,

Jesus Christ the Incarnate Word Who us our Brother and Savior,

and the Holy Spirit, our Advocate and Guide, be with you

and remain with you, this day and forevermore. Amen.

- A Franciscan Benediction (From A Hole in the Gospel)

"Spirit, lead me where my trust is without borders,

Let me walk upon the waters,

Wherever you would call me.

Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander,

and my faith would be made stronger

in the presence of my Savior."

- Oceans by Hillsong United

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace,
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
where there is sadness, joy;

O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much 

seek to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.

For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

- Prayer of St. Francis of Assisi

Source: blog.worldhelp.net

"I know that the Lord will maintain the cause of the afflicted, 

and will execute justice for the needy." - Psalm 140:12

"I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you." - John 14:18

Please keep me in your prayers as I leave for Rwanda this Thursday, March 7! I have been praying these prayers, and I'd appreciate if you would continue in praying these for me and my team as well.  

*Pictures are not my own and are taken from Pinterest.com

its official!

Wednesday was my final deadline for my fundraising for Rwanda...

I'm so incredibly blessed to say that I have raised ALL of the money that I needed, so I am OFFICIALLY GOING TO RWANDA!!!

The small country is located in the center and eastern part of Africa.

Raising the money for this trip has been such an awesome experience for me in learning how to trust in God's provision.  I pray for Rwanda every single day, and every time I pray, I ask God to provide all of my needs.  Every day as I prayed for Rwanda, I Each time I had a financial deadline, there seemed to be a pattern.  I would be running short of the money that I needed, and then at the very last second, much more money than what I needed would come in.  God didn't just give me what I needed - He gave an abundance.

And now, I have the $3675 that I needed raised...but the Lord didn't stop there.  God provided even more than I needed! He gave me an abundance of funds,  so now the extra money that I raise will help other people who are struggling to get money in. My God is not only the God who provides, but the God of abundance. 

I learned that just like God has led me every step of the way in other area of my life, He could lead me in the area of finances too.  Nothing is too much for Him - not even $3675.  I have so much gratitude during this time - I'm so thankful for the God who provides for all of my needs, and for the friends and family who have been so incredibly generous to me.

I'm not the only one with this story of abundance.  Another girl going on my trip, Katie, needed to raise over $1,000 going into the final week before our last deadline.  She ended up receiving an additional $400 over what she needed! My friend, Erin, is also going to Rwanda.  I saw her on the date that all of our money was due, and she still needed over $1,100.  We prayed together that day for God to bring in the funds she needed so that she could go on the trip.  We were asking for faith to believe that He could do abundantly more than we can ask - but I wasn't even expecting for God to move like He did.  A few hours later, Erin ran into my room and told me that she had raised the $1,100 that she needed! God provided for her in a matter of hours. How amazing is that?!  

Some of Scripture that has really been helpful in expressing my feelings during this time:

Source: http://be-the-change.tumblr.com/post/8414425453

"I will sing to the Lord, because He has dealt bountifully with me." - Psalm 13:6

"The Lord is my chosen portion and my cup; You hold my lot." - Psalm 16:5

"You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand there are pleasures forevermore." - Psalm 16:11

"Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the Lord our God." - Psalm 20:7

"My cup overflows." - Psalm 23:5

I am so undeserving of all the blessings that I've received.  I'm just so amazed by God's faithfulness and provision! And He is STILL providing so much more for me.

This is ACTUALLY happening.  I've been praying and thinking about this for SO long, but now its real. I'm really going to Rwanda!

"Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen.^" - Ephesians 3:20-21

lent.

Who knows what today is?! If you didn't catch it from my title...today marks the beginning of lent!

Some of you may not know this, but I was raised Catholic and went to Catholic school for about 9 years.  One of the most well known and most widely practiced events in the Catholic Church calendar is the season of Lent, which is the 40 days leading up to Easter.  Its known as the time when you give something up, or "fast" from something. 

As a kid, lent meant that I couldn't eat something that I really liked.  It was a time of suffering because I really wanted soda, or chocolate, but couldn't eat it.  I remember one year, my whole family gave up all junk food, and I hated it.  Rice cakes became my best friend.  The lent tradition is that on Sundays you can break your fast if you want to, so my mom would buy some sort of sweet for us all to enjoy for that one day.  One time she bought carrot cake as our treat, and I was furious because to me, since it was called carrot cake, it meant that it was still healthy food, and not junk food.  Silly me.  

When I was in high school, I stopped practicing lent because I didn't see the point of it.  Why would I go through 40 days of making myself suffer because I couldn't eat something that I wanted?! 

This year, the Lord really changed my heart to lent, and opened my eyes to see it in a completely different way. I've never done something personal or meaningful for lent - I've only done things because my teachers and parents told me to.  

I did some research on the origins of lent, and what the purpose of it is. I learned that lent is the time leading up to Easter because it is meant to prepare us for the Resurrection of Jesus.  The major themes that people focus on during lent are repentance, reflection, prayer, and self-denial.  

Lent comes directly from the example that Jesus Christ set for us in the Bible.  In Matthew 4, Jesus goes into the wilderness and fasts for 40 days, then is tempted by the devil.  During Jesus' time of fasting, he pressed so deeply into His Father for support that He was able to stand against the devil's temptations.  After Jesus came out of his 40 day fast in the wilderness, He began His public ministry. 

This is why Lent is so closely associated with fasting.  Since Christ demonstrated fasting in order to prepare for His ministry on earth, how much more should we? He is our primary example.

I know that fasting is so much more than just giving up junk food, or soda, or candy.   But why else should we fast? And what does fasting look for us now?

Isaiah 58 is one of my favorite passages of Scripture, and it gives a clear picture of the type of fasting that God calls us to:

"Is not this the fast that I choose:
to loose the bonds of wickedness,
to undo the straps of the yoke, 
to let the oppressed go free,
and to break every yoke?
Is it not to share your bread with the hungry
and bring the homeless poor into your house; 
when you see the naked, to cover him,
and not to hide yourself from your own flesh?"

- Isaiah 58:6-8

I love this picture that God gives us.  When we fast, we are denying the ourselves so that there is more room for God to work in our lives.  He breaks chains, destroys strongholds, lets the oppressing things go.  This is a picture of freedom that comes only through fasting.  It also leaves an effect on the lives of people around us.  When we fast, we have extra to give to others and to meet their needs. 

 Here's what Margaret Feinberg says about Lent,

There is a reason why Lent is associated so closely to fasting.  For me, Lent is the time of year when I tug on Papa’s sleeve and say, “I want more, more, more of you!”  Hungry. Persistent. Expectant. It’s more than a set of dates on the church calendar—it’s a season to passionately pursue God and live wide-eyed to the wonder of who He is. The wonders of God are waiting for you during Lent. This season is laced with opportunity that will stir your hunger to know God more.

This Lent, I'm going into this season with expectancy to see more of God present in my life.  I'm changing my perspective on it.  Instead of going into this time only focusing on how difficult fasting can be, I'm facing it with excitement because it is a huge opportunity for growth.  I'm going into this season with a set of things that I want to take of hold of, rather than give up.  I want to wake up on Easter Sunday and be a different person than I am right now. 

What better time for God to work on me, for Him to challenge me, and for Him to pour more of Him into me than in the time to prepare for Easter?

Lent should be thought of more as "what am I going to lay hold of?" rather than, "what am I going to give up?" What am I going to add to my life, instead of taking something away?

I'm actually going to be doing both - laying hold as well as giving up. I’m challenging you to take time today to ask God what He’s calling you toward during Lent this year. Get practical. Do something for the Lord that you've never done before.  

Here are my plans for Lent: 

1.  7 Sacred Pauses - Pause 7 times a day daily to pray and wait on the Lord. I'm doing this because I've been so busy, I need to rely on the Lord even more in the midst of it. I also don't want to pray mindlessly, but be intentional about it.

2. Social Media Fast - No Facebook, Twitter, Instagram. They've been distracting, and its been keeping me from focusing on the Lord during my quiet times.

If you are feeling resistant to doing something for Lent, what is holding you back? Will you open up your heart to allow God to move in a deeper way? What is going to be your plan of action to practically allow God to move in your life?