I would have never thought I could have gone a year without shopping. There were times when I considered myself "cheating" by buying new clothes for special occasions, but friends and family have reassured me that buying a new outfit for engagement pictures is acceptable. ;) Over the past year, I've been amazed by the generosity of my friends and family, some of them who may not even realize how they've inspired me. My best friend Lexie, my fiance Tanner, and my sweet mom have bought me clothes this year when I wasn't expecting it, and so deeply encouraged me through that. So many friends and mentors have encouraged and challenged me through my fast, and I learned from their wisdom and prayers for me.
I definitely learned a lot from this fast, but overall, I wish that right now I felt differently. This was the longest fast I've ever done, and it was definitely also one of the hardest things I've ever done. By this point, I honestly expected myself to not even want to go shopping. I thought that by fasting for a year, I wouldn't have a desire to spend loads of money on clothes that I probably don't need. But honestly, today all I'm thinking is about when is the soonest time I can get to a mall.
Not to say I didn't learn anything. I do have to say that I'm extremely proud of myself for actually following through on this and not giving up when it was difficult. I learned that I don't need everything that I see. I learned that its better to trust God with my needs than to provide them myself. I learned what my needs truly are. I learned that self-control is better than instant gratification, and money is better spent on more meaningful things. I learned that simplicity is better than excess.
I don't think its bad that I want to go shopping. But every time I think about buying something, I think about how I could better spend the money. I've seen people across the world who barely have anything, yet I live with so much more than I need. I'm living in a first world, but with the needs of the third world so heavy on my heart. I'm still figuring out this balance in my life.
By not buying clothes, I saved money and was able to use it for different purchases. Not trying to toot my own horn, but I was able to start sponsoring a child in Rwanda, donate generously to different causes, raise money for people in need around the world, and give meaningful gifts to friends and family by honoring them as I donate to world relief organizations. The fact that I was able to use my money more effectively was something I wasn't expecting during this year, and if that's all that I get out of this year-long fast, I'm more than satisfied.
This year, I want to continue the lifestyle I've been living. I will continue fasting on the first day of every month to refocusing my heart on the Lord and trust and surrender to Him. I will also continue to be generous to others by giving sacrificially each month.
Overall, I want to live more simply, and live with less.
