preparation

Some people have been asking me how I'm doing in preparing for this trip.
But how do you prepare for a trip that you've been looking forward to for over a year?!

How do you prepare your mind to see things you've never seen before, and aren't even sure what you're going to see?

How do you prepare your heart to take in the brokenness of a country destroyed by hatred?

How do you get ready to see hundreds, thousands, millions of grave stones of people who didn't deserve to die?

How do you prepare yourself to enter into a culture that is completely different from the one I've lived in my whole life?

How do you help bring restoration and healing to a country with deeply rooted pain in a matter of a week?

How do you prepare to serve God when you don't know exactly how?

You get as close to Jesus as possible.  He's the only One giving me peace, comfort, and assurance during this time of preparation. 

The only way to get ready for all of this is by spending as much as I can with Him in prayer.  I'm preparing for everything I'm going to experience by spending deep, intimate times of prayer with Him.  I feel closer to Him, and closer to Rwanda than ever. 

The other morning I was up early praying for Rwanda, and my heart was so overwhelmed with love for that country, those widows, and those orphans.  My heart feels as if it is already in Rwanda, and I haven't even gotten there yet.  As I spend time with Him, I feel the Lord filling me up with His love to pour out to the Rwandan people.  He is increasing my desire to serve Him and be used by Him.  

And as I pray and get closer to Jesus, I see how He has been preparing me for Rwanda for much longer than I know.  This was one of my favorite songs when I was a sophomore and junior in high school...who knew that the Lord was planting seeds of Rwanda in me from the start?!

When I asked one of my trip leaders what I could be doing to be preparing spiritually for my trip to Rwanda he told me "practice the presence of God."  I'm opening my eyes to see Him everywhere here, so that when I go over to Africa I'm even more aware of His evidence. I'm growing my habit of communicating continually with God, so that when I'm in Rwanda I pray all the more. 

When you really think about it, you realize that there's no way to really "prepare" for big things in your life.  You can try as hard as you can, but when the rubber hits the road, you just have to dive right into it.