Syria Fundraising Update

Wow. I have been totally blown away.  My friends and family have been SO generous.

A few weeks ago I set a goal of raising $360 for refugees in Syria rather than receiving gifts.  I shared my heart for the need that Syrian refugees are in (read about it here) and I asked for others to come alongside this passion. 

You responded and gave! And I far exceeded my original goal thanks to your generosity! But my birthday hasn't come yet, and I'm still asking for more.  I raised my goal to $1200, which would be enough money to provide food and medicine for 60 children for a month. 

It's easy to just give money towards a cause and then forget about it later.  But I'm wishing and hoping that as you feel led to donate, that you are standing up and saying "ENOUGH." And I'm hoping that you know that this is investing in the lives of others around this world who need our help. 

Visit http://worldhelp.net/Syria to watch videos, read stories, and understand more about the crisis and what to do. Thank you for so generously giving your money, heart, and prayers. 

Pictures from http://blog.worldhelp.net/2013/08/syria-chemical-warfare-waged-on-the-innocent/

A good case of the Mondays

Can I just share something?

Today was a really great day. Not necessarily because my circumstances were awesome, but for the first time in a long, dry season that's been lasting months, I could actually recognize how good the Lord is and how sweet His blessings are.

My day shouldn't have started off well.  I went to bed REALLY late the night before doing laundry, and then woke up naturally on my own before my alarm went off.  But I wasn't cranky waking up. I finished the laundry from the night before, had a big cup of coffee, and even had time for some oatmeal. I spent quality time reading my Bible and in prayer for the first time in a week. Just that alone is enough to set my week off on the right foot.

Then, I walked to Convocation listening to one of my favorite sermons on my iPod. I was offered free coffee from my coworkers in the Center for Global Engagement as I was on my way to buy my own cup of coffee.  I got to hear a new worship song in Convo that moved me to tears, and then listened to a wise, challenging, and encouraging message from one of the greatest theologians of my generation.  I had a long day at work, but it was filled with meaningful conversations and tasks that are important for sending people to the mission field. 

I enjoyed relaxing time reading and napping in my hammock for the first time this school year.  I got to watch the beginnings of a beautiful sunset and feel a cool autumn breeze.  I had a picnic outside with dear friends and got to eat home cooked dinner.  I still felt His peace through multiple meetings throughout my night, and am currently so content under my warm comforter in my air conditioned room.

Monday was SO good. I'm sure that one day I'll write a post about how everything in my day went wrong, but today was just not one of those days, and I want to celebrate that. 

I think we have to learn to recognize Him in the things that seem little to us before we realize He's there in the big stuff too.  Count your blessings today. Live aware of the sweet blessings He's giving you. They're everywhere.

birthday month

Its my favorite holiday - my birthday!

If you've known me for the past couple of years, you know that my birthday is a more important holiday than Christmas. I start celebrating my birthday on the start of the month - September 1! As a kid, my mom would always give us a small present on our birthday month, and decorate our doors with streamers. I obsess over my birthday and want lots of presents!

But this year I knew that I wanted it to be different.  I've been doing a lot of things this year out of the convictions that God has placed on my heart, and knew that I wanted to use my birthday as a way to give to others rather than take for myself. I've been thinking a lot about how I can help others in need, and what better time to do that than during a month when I'm celebrating my life on earth?

This world is so much bigger than just me and my birthday month.  I can't sit back and continue ignoring the needs of the world when others are desperately waiting for us to act. 

"To whom much is given, much will be expected." -Luke 12:48

The crisis in Syria has been so heavy on my heart, especially since its been compared to the acts of genocide that happened in Rwanda not too long ago.  The United Nations Refugee Chief, Antonio Guterres said, "We have not seen a refugee outflow escalate at such a frightening rate since the Rwandan Genocide almost 20 years ago."  The Rwandan Genocide only lasted 100 days.  This Syrian Crisis has been going on for years, and really isn't ending any time soon.  During the Rwandan genocide, we failed to act and respond to the people in need. I don't want history to repeat itself, but it will if we don't do something about it. 

Here's what World Help said about the crisis in Syria.  They put it in better words than I could.

The nation of Syria is on the verge of complete collapse. The crisis began in March of 2011 in the wake of the Arab Spring and evolved into a bloody battle between the regime of Syrian President Bashar al-Assad and various opposition forces.  Millions have fled to escape the slaughter that has already claimed the lives of more than 100,000 innocent civilians.  As the struggle for power continues, a humanitarian disaster of growing desperation threatens to swallow the entire region.

World Help, the organization that I went with to Rwanda, is heavily involved in providing aid for Syrian refugees. Vernon Brewer, the president and founder of the organization, visited the Syrian refugee camps multiple times and has been heavily involved in the crisis relief for the thousands of women and children that are in desperation. They are working on raising money to provide medicine, blankets, food, water, and shelter to those displaced in refugee camps. 

This is what I want for my birthday - to reach beyond my own borders and to do something that will last. 

Will you respond to those in need around the world?  Will you donate money to the refugees in need in honor of my birthday?

I'm trying to raise $360 by September 22. $360 is enough to provide food and medicine to twelve children for a month. Visit http://syria.worldhelp.net/kaylamaudsley to donate to this campaign, and visit worldhelp.net/syria to learn more about how World Help is involved in helping the Syrian Crisis.

the red dirt wears off

The red clay has worn off of my feet.  My farmer's tan has faded.  My body is clean, my fingernails painted, and my hair is blown dry and straightened.

I got back from Rwanda almost 6 months ago.  Why does it feel so far? Why has it been so easy to slip back into my normal American lifestyle?

We talked about not letting society creeping back into our lives.  We prayed for American culture of greediness and selfishness being rid in our lives.  We held each other accountable to the things we committed to. We swore not to let the memories not to fade.

But no matter how hard I tried, it doesn't mean as much as it did a few months ago.  I've let the memories fade and the emotions wear off.  I forget what I saw and heard in Rwanda - the faces of joy, hurt, love, and contentment. And I'm ashamed of that.

I've let the lessons I learned in Rwanda take the backseat to the culture that is in front of my eyes.  I forget to pray for my sponsor child.  I want lots of birthday presents.  I spend an exorbitant amount of money at Starbucks.  I don't cry when I hear those songs that we sang while we were there.  I waste food.  I hold grudges.  I want a big, fancy wedding.  I say that I need things, when I've seen what "need" truly is.

Don't get me wrong - I am deeply changed by what I experienced there.  I still think about it all the time.  I have a problem that the "normal" way of living here means excess. I forever have a discontentment about the poverty and need for resources around the world.  But sometimes it feels like I'm just looking at pictures, and forgetting that there are people and children there that I actually met.

Sometimes that change that occurred deep within me is suppressed by the ease of following what this American culture says is normal.  

That red clay has worn off, and all the time I wish it was still there. What do you do when the dirt is gone and you get used to "normal" American living again?

Until I figure it out, I will try to push out the deep desire to live differently because of what I've seen that I know is in me, and struggle to overcome the selfishness, forgetfulness, and pride that so naturally and easily surfaces.

lessons learned over the summer

So I didn't finish everything on my summer bucket list (or get close to finishing it!), but I did learn.  And now that I'm two weeks into school, and have been in Lynchburg for the past month, I can look back on it and see what I took away from summer.  It wasn't an easy summer by any means, but I'm still thankful for that season. So here are a few of the random things that I learned from summer 2013.

1. Older women are extremely wise.  There's something about getting advice from someone who's more mature than you, whether she's 40 years older, or 1 year older - she knows more. And its nice to just sit and listen and learn. And I loved every second that the older women in my life took to pour into me this summer.  I needed it.

2.  God can still use you when you don't deserve it. I barely spent any time with God this summer.  When I did, I did it out of a feeling of obligation, and not delight.  And when it was my turn to teach bible study, I was dreading it.  I wasn't worthy to teach the Bible. But ya know what? God used it.  And people learned from it. Not from me, from Him. I'm grateful for that.

3. Change is okay.  I'm going through a season of change (more on that later) and its not a bad thing.  I have a new fiance, a new job, a new load of classes, a new hall on a new part of campus, and a new leadership team. And while its taken a little while to get used to, its all good.

4. Wedding planning is really fun when you have the right perspective. More on this later too! But to put it plainly - its much more important to plan for marriage than to plan a wedding.

5. Wedding planning is also much more fun when you can do it with girlfriends.  There's only so much that Pinterest can do for you. There were moments during summer when I felt like no one had the time to be a part of planning, and that was okay, but it was so much more fun when friends could help me and give me advice. I loved their support and advice - I needed to make sure my ideas weren't crazy!

6. A dry season in your relationship with God is normal. And it can actually be a gift.

That's all for now, folks. More coming soon!

reflections on the Widows' Village

There have only been a few moments in my life that have happened in seconds but have changed my life forever.

I'm ready to share about one of them. My time in the Widows Village in Rwanda is one of the most cherished moments of my life.

One of the main activities we did for ministry in Rwanda was show love to the orphans, children, and widows by spending time with them.  We showed them love through playing with them, talking with them, and simply holding them.  Our leaders told us that the attention that we were able to show the children would be something that they remember forever. It truly felt like being the physical hands and feet of Christ. 

The Widow's Village was a government-provided area during the genocide that widows could live to be protected.  Since the genocide ended, it has stuck with that purpose.  Now, widows live there with their children and have a community there. 

The first day we went to the Widow's Village was highly anticipated.  Our bus had faced many different difficulties making it up the long, steep hill, where the widow's village rested on the top.  The widows and children could see our bus trekking up to them, so they waited even more anxiously for our arrival.

The first thing that happened as we stepped off the bus was a flood of children rushing to our side, grabbing our hands and latching onto them.  We hopped over a small ditch in the road, where the widows were all lined up.  As each member of the team hopped over we were immediately embraced by one woman after another.  They greeted us by saying "Maraho," or "Hello," and kissed our cheeks graciously.

We were all emotional - we were all overwhelmed by the love being shown to each other and by the community we already felt, despite the lack of understanding in language. 

We could hear children singing as we drove up the hill, and sure enough - there were at least 20 children proudly wearing their school uniform, gathered together in the middle of the village.  They were showing off what they had learned in school and sang their songs that they learned in English.  Some of the lyrics were: "I'm a little butterfly, in the air I fly, up up on the tree, I fly fly."  Others were "Head, shoulders, knees, and toes," with respective dance moves for all.   I don't think I've ever been more in love with a group of children. All of these kids had been sponsored to go to school at the Star School, and their songs and dance were evidence of what they were learning. 

We spent the afternoon playing with the children: trying to pronounce their names, teaching them dances, and just picking them up and holding them in our arms. As we drove away after our first day, the kids chased our bus down the rode, and our hearts broke in having the leave them.  But we knew that we'd be back in a few days.

Sure enough, the next time we headed up the long road to the Widow's Village, the kids started screaming and running towards us.  They had been waiting for us to return to them. 

We continued our typical activities - running, chasing, playing, laughing, holding, and cuddling with the children.  We all had our few kids who recognized us and stayed by our side, and my team members would continually play and chase the kids, and then take a rest by cuddling and holding them.  The kids loved running all over playing games and settling into the arms of all of us "mzungus," what they call "white person." 

Photos taken by Jimmy Thomas

On the last day in the Widow's Village, I met a new boy, who was 12 years old.  He was on the older side, and for a boy he was especially cuddly and close with me.  He spoke a little English, so I learned that his name was Eric and he was 12 years old.  We wanted to take pictures with me and hold my hand as our leader shared the gospel.  I'm used to my younger brothers, but neither of them had acted as needy as Eric was for his age.  Usually the teenage boys kept to themselves and would crack jokes, but he was sweet, kind, and needy for attention.  

We sat together through the whole message from our leader, and he paid close attention to every word.  Then, another leader shared with the group that was huddled together on the small hill that our team loved them very much and wanted to show them that by giving them each their own new t-shirt.  When Eric heard that, he squeezed my hand, turned and looked me in the eyes, and said in his accented English, "Thank you, thank you very much."

I couldn't help but start to cry.  I hugged him, and he held tight to me, and as I got up to help pass out t-shirts, he waited patiently to receive one from me. Everyone put their shirts on right away in proud ownership.  

Then, Eric grabbed my hand and pulled me toward a group of women standing in a group on the side.  He pointed his hand as a woman in the middle and said "Mom." He took me to introduce me to his mother! We embraced one another and kissed each others cheeks.  We could barely communicate, so we just smiled.  She thanked me for the t-shirts, and I feel so helpless.  I wanted to do so much more for her to show her that I loved her, but didn't know what to do.  I gave her the nail polish that I brought to paint the kids' nails, and she laughed at my gift to her.

Eric stayed close by my side as I played with the younger kids, and when it came time for us to leave the Village, my heart felt like it was breaking into millions of pieces.  Each kid stole my heart with their smiles, their laughter, and their innocence.  It broke me to know that many of them didn't have parents, didn't have food to eat, and didn't have money to go to school. 

Eric's simple "thank you" made me realize all the wealth and excess that I have.  Its not fair that I have been given so much undeservingly, while all he has is a new t-shirt to make him satisfied.

What have I done to deserve all that I have? Nothing.

What has Eric done to deserve the simple life he lives? Nothing.

Yet here I am, with everything, and continually wanting more, and there Eric and all of the other children are, thousands of miles away in Rwanda, not realizing the more that there is. Spending time in the Widows Village changed me and my time with those children is something that I remember all of the time.

My trip leader, Cyrus, told our team before we left for Rwanda that our time with the children in the Widow's Village was precious.  He said that when he returns to Rwanda, the kids ask about the people who had previously been there.  They continually ask for us and remember our names.  The time that we spend loving on those kids is some of the only love that they get to feel, and they cherish it forever. 

I think that its more important to think about the love that we can give, rather than the things we can get for ourselves. 

 

its a process

Do you ever feel as if you're stuck in the same place spiritually? Like you're committing the same sins over and over, and no matter how hard you try, you can't seem to learn that lesson God is trying to teach you?

Lately I have been SO frustrated and confused about why I continuously commit the same sins over and over.  I've prayed the same prayers for forgiveness and confessed to other believers, and sometimes I think that God has probably been getting sick of me about it. 

But here's the amazing thing - He's not. It's impossible for me to wrap my mind around, because who wouldn't be frustrated with an incompetent person, repeating the same mistakes over and over?

God never gets tired of us.  He knows our weaknesses and failures.  He created us this way - Psalm 103 proves this and says "As a father shows compassion to his children, so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him.  For He knows our frame; He remembers that we are dust." (103:13-14).

There is grace for the ways we fail. 

I was reading something by Beth Moore and it totally comforted me in my frustration over my own sin.  She was sharing the way she adores her grandson and pays attention to his every move.  She knows when he first slept through the night, when he rolled over from his stomach to his back, and when we smiled for the first time.  She cherishes every moment of his growing process, and relates it to our relationship with God this way:

"I don't sit over Jackson impatiently and wish he were suddenly grown.  I celebrate every step he takes.  Why do we think our Heavenly Father, who designed our bodies, souls, and spirits to operate just as they do, would be any different? No, God doesn't enjoy any child's stubborn unwillingness to grow up any more than I'd enjoy Jackson still crawling at six years of age.  But I'm convinced God thoroughly relishes every hint of maturity even if we feel as if we're not making progress."

I love that analogy to watching a baby grow.  You never want to rush the process, and you don't get frustrated when a baby can't do things adults can do.  That's exactly how God views us.  He watches over us and enjoys the small ways we grow, and understands when we stumble. He celebrates every step we take - even the baby steps. 

He doesn't expect our first steps to be perfect.  Or our second. Or our third.  But in every step we take, God rejoices for us.

God is with us in our struggles with sin, and when we commit the same sins again and again, He will never condemn us for them.  Romans 8:1 says "There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus."

If there's anything that I've learned this year, its that our relationship with God is a process, and He understands when we stumble from time to time.  He gets it when we can't seem to fully conquer a sin and have to struggle through it. 

But there's another part of this process we need to be aware of.  We always need to be striving for growth - whether we are failing over again and again or learning and succeeding quickly.  We can't settle where we are and apathetically expect God to be happy with us.  We can't become careless about our sins, and cheaply accept the grace of God without understanding how much it cost Him.  We need to draw near to God, pushing forward through the stumbling and failures, so that we're not taking advantage of that grace.

Our growth and maturity in God is a process.  We aren't going to be perfect, or even come close to that.

There's grace for our repeated sins and constant failures.  He doesn't give up on me, and He understands that I am dust.  Praise God.